Sunday, August 5, 2007

Bad sex in fiction award

Here's a fun link to look at as diversion/encouragement when you hit a writing roadblock (or detour, impasse, or motorway jam) - the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction award, awarded annually for the worst sex scene in a novel.

The list of literary heavyweights, and their extremely badly written sex scenes, are encouraging to those of us yet to publish a novel let alone a convincing sex scene (written down of course.... I stage extremely convincing sex scenes, at least in the privacy of my imagination, every now and then :))

I think this year's contenders were not as good as 2005's, a particularly fruitful year.,,1652812,00.html
But this is my all time fave:

2001 winner - Rescue Me by Christopher Hart (Faber & Faber)
Her hand is moving away from my knee and heading north. Heading unnervingly and with a steely will towards the pole. And, like Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Pamela will not easily be discouraged. I try twitching, and then shaking my leg, but to no avail. At last, disastrously, I try squeezing her hand painfully between my bony thighs, but this only serves to inflame her ardour the more. Ever northward moves her hand, while she smiles languorously at my right ear. And when she reaches the north pole, I think in wonder and terror...she will surely want to pitch her tent.

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