digital schizophrenia

So er - yes, it's been a while since I've updated this!! Good intentions notwithstanding. Since the last time I blogged I've put on a play, written two more and been in a couple of art exhbitions. I've also spent much more time working on reviews and my "official blog" than on this wee labour of love.

Blogging for different reasons is an interesting topic. It brings out varying 'digital persona' (the whole discussion about digital identity and how we manufacture it for the web is an old topic, right? But perpetually fascinating. We love to talk about how we talk about ouselves.)

So yes, I write differently on The Big Idea than I do on this blog, even though to a certain extent I'm blogging about the same topic. But on my "official" blog, I'm aware of two differences. Firstly, that I've been invited to blog because of who/what I represent (emerging artists) and secondly that the readership frame is slightly different, more "serious artists", though it probably overlaps quite a bit.

Blogging there has changed blogging here, though. I'm now more aware of who reads this.... and that I have no idea who this 'who' is. While this blog started as a place for me to let it all hang out - in a literary sense - now I'm aware of pulling back a bit, even as I know I don't want to. Sad but ... ah maybe I'll have to go back to the paper diary for the real gritty uncleaned stuff, and burn it before I die. Old fashioned but traditional.

Anyway I meant to note that I'm quite tired, because I've been at work all weekend wearing my doctor persona. Driving home, I had the strangest feeeling sneak up on me - all I wanted to do was shut the door of my room and watch DVDs for hours and hours until I fell asleep. It might be strange that this is strange, seeing as this is what lots of people do all the time. But usually my head is too full of creative must-dos (not as glamorous as it sounds - mainly emails or redrafts), so I feel like I'm wasting time with movies or DVDs. Sometimes even the invitation to an evening watching mindless DVDs with friends has me worrying that I'd spend it instead silently frustrated, that time was slipping away. (what's wrong with a nice dinner instead, and real conversation?) Yes, misguided perhaps. Shallowness has its place, we all need to switch off sometimes.

Hmmm so a thought - being currently and temporarily of the full-time worker ilk, would this eventually turn me into a DVD watching automaton with 'no time' for writing?