tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039612874763492670.post3307368585975727596..comments2023-09-19T17:49:56.522+12:00Comments on Chinglish: Tuesday Poem: Appetite: or, an Allegorical journeyPiokiwihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06093612075587719561noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039612874763492670.post-78980103932017596852011-06-16T16:49:12.616+12:002011-06-16T16:49:12.616+12:00Love this! And I know it can't just be because...Love this! And I know it can't just be because I'm on a weight-loss diet. What are the details of your Pah Homestead reading, please? (Time, is it part of something else, etc.)Claire Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17549609289169890919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039612874763492670.post-60868986143609231182011-06-14T22:26:47.657+12:002011-06-14T22:26:47.657+12:00Thanks Paul! Actually the last verse is the same n...Thanks Paul! Actually the last verse is the same number of lines as the other two - it's just that the lines are longer, and Blogger creates enjambment where there is none.... but thanks anyway for the lovely feedback!Piokiwihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06093612075587719561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039612874763492670.post-6869820493336205722011-06-14T21:16:46.482+12:002011-06-14T21:16:46.482+12:00I think you paint a very full and sensual picture ...I think you paint a very full and sensual picture of The Fat Dog Cafe, such a shame I live miles away in Taunton. There are some lines in the piece that I like alot-"heavy jowled food", "Slides along olive oiled avenues" "Plates indigestive" "Drip silver drooled coins". You capture the textures and tastes, the movement and the dynamics of a busy, popular eatingplace well. My only bit of constructive fedback would be the last verse feels out of step with what has gone before. The first two verses are 10 lines long the last is 14 and denser than the other two, images overspill, as full as I am sure I would be if I ate there. Anyway thanks, I enjoyed the poem.Paul Tobinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14732771806819029077noreply@blogger.com